All That You Can't Leave Behind
by Brittany Laine
Summary: An impossible romance that spans the decades.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own the series of Harry Potter. If I did, Sirius Black would still be alive. It belongs to one of my idols, J.K. Rowling, so please, don't sue me. If you did, the most you'd get from me is an endless collection of DVDs and a few quarters. Sorry. _

**Chapter One**

**An Attempt to Tip the Scales**

_February, 1998_

"Ronald Weasley!" A shrill voice rang through the corridor. Ron froze, knowing he'd been caught, but thought maybe, just maybe, if he stood still long enough, she'd go away. No such luck. He closed his eyes and groaned as her hand clamped onto his arm. "Ron, where do you think you are going?" she questioned; her face stern. She wasn't kidding around.

"I was just taking a break. Maybe, I don't know, sleep?" he replied. "I don't think I've slept in two days."

His comment was met with a scoff. "Don't be daft, Ronald. You slept for four hours and twenty three minutes this morning."

"Hermione, are you insane?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're timing how long I sleep, Hermione! We spend all day in the library, practically starving to death-"

"Rona-"

"This is _insane_!"

Hermione was fuming. Quite frankly, it was frightening Ron. He'd never seen her make that face before- it was scary. "Insane?" she said, stepping closer, her voice low and shaking. "_Insane_?"

Ron's eyes widened as he nodded his head. "Uh-huh," he squeaked out lamely. He wasn't expecting what she did next, however. The stinging sensation spread across the entire half of his face as her palm collided with his cheek. His hand immediately went to his throbbing cheek as he looked down at her, wide-eyed, ready to yell _'What the bloody hell was that for!'_, but he stopped cold.

She stood, staring up at him, shaking, tears forming in her chocolate eyes. "Our best friend is preparing to put his life on the line for us, for the world," she said, her voice breaking. "And you…all you can think about is sleep and food. What is wrong with you?" She hit his chest, but Ron didn't flinch. "Why can't you think of Harry for once?" she hit him again. "All you ever think of is yourself!" she hit him one last time, and broke into a fit of sobs, covering her face with her hands. Ron sighed, pulling her into a tight hug, letting her cry into his chest.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. Hermione pulled away, catching her breath as she looked up at him, wiping her eyes. Ron didn't know what to do. He stood awkwardly, waiting for her to say something.

"The least you could do is help with research. Please. Don't make me beg, Ronald."

Ron nodded. How could he refuse a plea like that? Inside, he was kicking himself for being such an arrogant prat. What she'd said is true. He was being selfish, while his best friend was putting himself out there to save the world. He was such an idiot. "O-okay," he stuttered, nodding his head.

"What happened with her?" questioned Harry as Ron flopped down in a chair across from him. Hermione hurried past the table, and disappeared into the stacks. Ron slid his hand through his messy ginger hair and sighed.

"Who knows," he said, pulling a book toward him. "She's going bloody mental. She's got to take time out of these bloody books."

"She's just trying to help, Ron," said Harry, glancing toward the stacks. "But I agree, it's starting to take a toll on her. I'm a bit worried about her, poor girl. I mean, I appreciate all she's doing for me, but she doesn't have to go through so much trouble."

Ron nodded. "Yeah," he sighed, flipping a page. "You find anything, mate?"

Harry closed the book in his hand, and tossed it aside. "No. Hermione's probably found a load more for us to look through, though. Where did she go, anyway?" he questioned, turning toward the stacks, attempting to spot Hermione.

"I dunno," Ron mumbled with a shrug. He flipped another page, and looked it over, mumbling the Latin incantation under his breath, partially without realizing it.

Harry looked up, his brow furrowed. "I-I don't think you should do that mate," he said, glancing down at the book in Ron's hands. He had no idea what the incantation said, or what it was for, but if there was one thing he'd learned from Hermione, it's that you should never recite an incantation without meaning for it to have results. It _always_ had results.

Ron looked up at Harry, confused. "What are you talking about? Nothing happened," he scoffed, tossing the book aside. "I think you and Hermione both need a break, mate. You're both going mental."

Hermione looked up from the book in her lap, suddenly feeling dizzy. The room was spinning, and everything was moving so fast. She pressed her hands to her head and squeezed her eyes closed. When she opened them a moment later, everything had calmed. She pushed the book off her lap and stood up, rushing from the stacks to find Harry and Ron. When she reached the table, however, it was empty, which confused her. Just moments ago, both of them had been sitting amongst piles and piles of books.

"What the…" she trailed off, and spun around, prepared to rack them down. However, she slammed directly into something solid. A person. She stumbled backwards, visibly shaken. "I-I'm sorry!"


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own the series of Harry Potter. If I did, Sirius Black would still be alive. It belongs to one of my idols, J.K. Rowling, so please, don't sue me. If you did, the most you'd get from me is an endless collection of DVDs and a few quarters. Sorry. _

**Chapter Two**

**Over the Hills and Far Away**

_February, 1978_

"That's quite alright," a boy said. Hermione raised her eyes to the person to whom the voice belonged, and found herself face-to-face with someone shockingly familiar, yet with an air of mystery about him…piercing gray eyes; light olive complexion; bright white smile; shaggy black hair; devastatingly handsome. "You alright, love?" he asked, resting his hand on her shoulder. She flinched and stepped back.

"I-I-I'm fine," she said.

"Great!" he said, flashing a pearly smile. "Now, tell me, love…what's your name? I don't believe I've seen you around before. And that's odd, because I've seen everyone."

"H-Hermione Granger," she replied, looking around the library. _Where are they?_

"Lovely to meet you. Sirius Black, at your service," said the boy with a dramatic gentlemanly bow.

Hermione broke into a fit of coughs, looking at him as if he were insane. "Excuse me?" she asked. "I don't believe I heard you."

Sirius looked at her, confused. "You alright, love?" He patted her back. "I said-"

"Oy, Sirius!" A voice rang through the library, earning a chorus of "Shh!" and angry glares from students attempting to study.

Hermione spun toward the voice, and felt as if she were going to faint. Two boys were quickly approaching them. One, a tall boy, with impossibly messy raven hair and wire-rimmed glasses-almost an exact replica of Harry; the other, a bit taller, with sandy hair and ruggedly handsome features and soft, kind blue eyes.

They both stopped just in front of Hermione, looking over her head at Sirius. "Who's this?" asked the raven-haired boy.

Sirius draped his arm around Hermione's shoulders, grinning broadly, blissfully unaware of Hermione trying to pull away from him. "Well, boys," he said, "this here is Hermione Granger. We happened to bump into each other just moments ago."

The raven-haired boy narrowed his eyes at Sirius. "What the bloody hell are _you_ doing in the _library_, Padfoot?"

"Looking for you two, of course. What else would I be doing in the library?" He glanced down at Hermione. "Forgive me, darling, where are my manners? This here is none other than James Potter, our star seeker, which I'm sure you already knew," he said, gesturing toward the dark haired boy. He then waved in the direction of the other. "And this, my dear, is Remus Lupin, braniac extraordinaire.

Hermione swallowed hard and looked from boy to boy, trying to mask the feeling of horror she was experiencing. "I'm sorry, but if you'll excuse me, I need to speak with Professor Dumbledore." She pulled away from Sirius, and brushed past Remus and James, hurrying out of the library.

The three boys threw themselves into the chairs around the table they stood beside, watching Hermione's retreating figure. "Odd girl," James commented, sliding his hand through his hair, making it messier still.

Sirius smirked. "Odd, yes, but strangely attractive, eh, Moony?" he said, nudging Remus. Remus rolled his eyes and slid down in his chair, crossing his arms as he shrugged indifferently.

"I s'pose so," he said. Sirius and James were amused by his apathetic attitude, but decided not to push it. Yet.

Hermione hurried through the corridors, the heels of her black loafers pounding against the cold stone floor. "How did this happen?" she asked herself quietly. "It's impossible. Why me?" All good questions for Dumbledore, she decided.

When she reached the gargoyle guarding the entrance to Dumbledore's office, however, the panic level she was experiencing rose tenfold. She didn't have the password. How was she going to get to Dumbledore's office to speak with him if she didn't have the password? "Bloody hell!" she exclaimed. She scoffed, poising her hands on her hips. "Great, now I sound like Ron." Overcome with frustration, she kicked the gargoyle; something she immediately regretted.

"Miss Granger," a voice boomed behind her. Hermione's eyes widened as she turned to see Professor Dumbledore striding toward her; his deep purple robes billowing behind him majestically. She swallowed hard. "I take it that you find it imperative to speak with me?" he said, smiling knowingly, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Ye-yes sir," replied Hermione nervously. This didn't make any sense. If she was talking to Sirius and James and Remus, then how on earth did Dumbledore know who she was? Much less, that she needed to speak with him.

Dumbledore smiled, and turned to the gargoyle. "Pumpkin Pasty." He turned to Hermione as the entrance slid open. "Follow me." With that, he started up the stairs, leaving a shocked Hermione staring at the entrance. After a few seconds, she started after him.

Entering the opulent office, Dumbledore gestured to an over-stuffed chair across from his desk. "Please, have a seat," he said as he, himself, sat in the large chair behind his desk. Hermione obliged, and crossed her legs, looking around nervously.

"Now, what is it that you wish to speak with me about, Miss Granger?" he asked, folding his hands as he watched her, patiently waiting for her to begin her story.

Hermione cleared her throat and tucked a curl behind her ear. "Well, sir, I was curious, could you possible tell me what year this is?"

Dumbledore smiled. "My dear, I do believe it is the year 1978."

Hermione swallowed. Just the answer she was dreading. This wasn't some elaborate joke, or even a dream, and that frightened her. She wanted desperately to just wake up now, slumped over a pile of books in the library with Ron and Harry on either sides of her. But she had a feeling that wasn't going to happen. "Oh," she managed to squeak out. She took a deep breath. "Look, sir. I really don't know what's going on here. I don't belong here. I'm not from here. This time, I mean. Sir, it's 1998 where I'm from. I was sitting in the library, researching, when the room began to spin, and-"

Dumbledore held up his hand, silencing her. "Miss Granger, I assure you, you're meant to be here. It is no mistake."

"But-"

"Everything happens for a reason, dear. Have you not heard that before? It is most true, I assure you. Everything _does_ happen for a reason. Even this."

"Yes, but with all due respect, sir, I'm not sure you understand. I've got to get back. I-I-I have school and Harry and Ron, and the war, and-"

"Miss Granger," he interjected once more, his voice calm, but firm. He meant what he was saying; this was no joke. "I may not know precisely how you came to join us here, but I do know one thing for sure. It must run it's course."

"What!" It was all Hermione could do not to jump out of her chair and protest. She swallowed and exhaled deeply, shaking her head. She licked her lips nervously, and looked up, meeting his gaze. "Sir, I can't-"

"Miss Granger, I apologize. I am sure this is quite difficult for you, but it is out of my control, unfortunately." He paused, and smiled at her. "Now, as I can see, you are a Gryffindor, correct?" He didn't wait for her answer; he could clearly tell from the crest emblazoned on her black school robes. "You shall remain a Gryffindor during your stay here. Arrangements will be made in the girls' dormitory, as well as for your classes.

"Miss Granger, it is imperative that you reveal _nothing_ about your life in the future. There are people you will encounter whom you may know in your own time."

Hermione bit her lip. "We've got a bit of a problem, then."

Dumbledore tilted his head. "What do you mean by that?"

"When I was in the library, before I knew what was going on, I ran into three boys- Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and James Potter. Sirius asked my name, and I gave it to him, _before_ they introduced themselves. The problem is… I know two of them, and one… his son is one of my best friends."

Dumbledore nodded. "Hmm… this may serve as a bit of a problem, but there is nothing we can do about it now, is there?" he said cheerily. "Just reveal nothing else, save for your name, to anyone."

Hermione nodded. "Okay," she said softly.

Dumbledore stood, and Hermione followed suit. "I trust you know the way to the Gryffindor common room, my dear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good luck, Hermione."


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own the series of Harry Potter. If I did, Sirius Black would still be alive. It belongs to one of my idols, J.K. Rowling, so please, don't sue me. If you did, the most you'd get from me is an endless collection of DVDs and a few quarters. Sorry. _

**Chapter Three**

**Crash Course In Polite Conversation**

"I'm telling you, Moony, she was into me. I could tell!" said Sirius as he, James, and Remus made their way to the common room. Remus and James both rolled their eyes.

"Padfoot, you think every girl wants you. I think she's different, though. I don't think she was affected by your charm, mat," said Remus.

Sirius scoffed. "Bull. She wanted me, and she wanted me bad. And I'm going to have her."

James snorted. "Good luck with-" he was silenced by Remus's elbow in his ribs. "Ow, what the-" he stopped when he saw what Sirius and Remus were looking at. Hermione stood outside the Gryffindor common room, cursing up a storm as she paced back and forth before the portrait.

"Just let me in!"

The fat lady shook her head. "Sorry, dearie, I can't do that without the password."

"Damn it! This is ridiculous! I'm a Gryffindor!"

"Then why don't you know the password!"

"Because! I have a ruddy memory!" she shouted, feeling a bit like Neville Longbottom.

"Is that so?"

Hermione sighed. "No, I'm a transfer student, alright? No one gave me the bloody password."

"That's not my problem."

Sirius stepped forward, coming to Hermione's rescue. Remus and James were close behind him. "Don't worry, love, that's what we're here for," he said, smiling down at her. He gave the fat lady the password and grinned at Hermione as the fat lady grudgingly opened the entrance. He draped his arm over her shoulder, pulling her through the portrait hole as she glanced helplessly over her shoulder at Remus, who, with James, had followed them inside.

"So, Hermione, was it?" Sirius began, sinking into a sofa with Hermione beside him. "You say you're a transfer student, eh?"

Hermione nodded. "Yeah. You know, I'm really tired. I think I'm going to bed." She jumped off the sofa, and smiled at James and Remus. "Goodnight," she said with a small wave. She turned, and hurried up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, once again, leaving the three boys stunned in her wake.

"Odd girl," they said.

Hermione threw herself on the four-post bed set up for her, and groaned. Before she knew it, she was sleeping soundly.

What seemed like seconds later to her, a distant voice pulled her from the deep slumber she was enjoying. "Excuse me? Excuse me?" Hermione groaned, and opened her eyes slowly, only to meet the emerald green ones of a red-headed girl.

Hermione shot up in bed, startled. The girl smiled. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to scare you. It's just, you were talking in your sleep, and you seemed a bit frightened."

Hermione swallowed, and pushed her curls out of her face. "Oh," she said, looking at the girl, who for some reason, seemed incredibly familiar.

"Gosh, where are my manners?" said the girl. She held out her hand for Hermione to shake, and smiled brightly. A bit too brightly for a still-groggy Hermione. "I'm Lily Evans."

_Lily? The eyes. Harry's mother, of course_. Hermione shook Lily's hand, and smiled politely. "Hermione Granger," she said.

Lily smiled sheepishly. "I know. The boys told me. You're a transfer, right?"

"The boys?" asked Hermione, confused.

Lily nodded. "Mmhmm. James, Remus, and Sirius." She chuckled. "Perhaps I should explain a bit better. I tend to get ahead of myself sometimes… James is my boyfriend. And the three of them are inseparable," she said. "And Peter," she added, rolling her eyes.

Hermione froze. _Peter Pettigrew_. She did her very best not to let her hatred show. "Oh, I see," she managed. "Um, I think I'm going to shower before breakfast."

Lily smiled and slid off the bed. "Of course. The bathroom is right through there. I'll wait for you, and walk with you down to breakfast so you don't get too incredibly lost."

Hermione smiled as she, too, slid off the bed. "Okay. Thanks."

"No problem." And with that, Lily skipped off to the common room as Hermione went her own direction, to the bathroom for a much needed shower to clear her head.

After a long, hot shower, Hermione brushed her teeth and dressed with the clothes that had been placed in the trunk for her at the foot of the bed. It was Saturday, so she'd ditched her uniform, and chosen a more comfortable attire of blue jeans, a tee shirt, a zip-up sweater, and sneakers. She made her way down to the common room, fresh-faced and curls still slightly damp, to meet up with Lily. To her surprise, the whole crew was waiting for her. "Hello," she greeted quietly.

Lily, who was seated on James's lap turned with a bright smile. Hermione had a feeling that was a usual personality trait for Lily, not that she minded. Lily was kind and outgoing; she could see where Harry got his kindness from. "Hi!" said Lily. "Feel better?"

"Much. Good morning," she said, smiling to James, Sirius, and Remus.

"Good morning," the replied in chorus. "Can we eat yet?" questioned James impatiently.

Lily and Hermione laughed. "Yes," said Lily, rolling her eyes. She slid off his hap and stood, reaching for James's hand. The rest followed suit, ready to head down to breakfast, for they were all quite hungry, but none announced it or pushed it quite like James did.

Sirius snagged Hermione, pulling her toward the portrait hole before she could protest. Remus caught the look on her face and shrugged, as if to say, 'Sorry, there's nothing I can do about it.' Inwardly, Hermione was cringing. She just thought there was something seriously wrong with Harry's godfather hitting on her, even if he _was_ her age. It just didn't seem right.

True, she'd always thought Sirius was handsome... in his own way, but she never had any romantic feelings fro him in the least. Not even now. "Sleep well love?" he asked, pulling Hermione from her thoughts. She looked up into his devilish grin and nodded.

"Mmhmm," she replied simply, much to Sirius's dismay.

"So, Hermione, should we show you around after we eat?" asked Lily through her giggles as James showered her cheek with kisses.

Hermione stopped herself from replying that no, she knew the castle quite well. Instead, she smiled politely and nodded. "That would be nice."

Lily smiled. "Great. And trust me, if anyone knows this castle inside and out, it's these three. They can take you _anywhere_ in this place. They know it like the backs of their hands."

Remus smiled sheepishly, while James and Sirius puffed out their chests proudly. "That's right, love," said Sirius, grinning. "We own this school."

"Bullocks, Sirius, we just have a habit of roaming about," said Remus. "Don't listen to him, Hermione; he likes to exaggerate things just a bit."

Hermione smiled at Remus, meeting his eyes, and her gaze faltered. She looked away, feeling her cheeks flush.

"A bit?" interjected Lily. "Sirius is the king of exaggeration."

"Aye, I agree," said James, smirking at Lily.

"Oy, shut it, James. You're just agreeing with her 'cause you're trying to get some!"

"Could you be any cruder?" asked Lily, making a face.

"Why, yes, I could, actually. Oy, James, you're just siding with Lily because you want to get fu-"

"So! Lily, how is the food here at Hogwarts?" asked Hermione loudly, cutting Sirius before his comment went any further.

Hermione was sandwiched between Remus and Sirius all through breakfast, and spent the majority of her time fending off advances from Sirius, dodging questions about her past, and trying not to let her glance stray toward Remus.

When they'd finished eating, Lily took charge of the situation once again. Hermione deduced, again, that this usually the way of it. She was in charge, and as much as they pretended to protest, she figured the boys really didn't mind all that much. "I think it's time to give Hermione the grand tour, don't you?"

The boys grinned devilishly… even Remus. "I believe so," said James. He paused, and looked around, confused. "Oy, where's Peter?"

Lily, Remus, and Sirius looked around, realizing for the first time, that Peter wasn't with them. They'd been too wrapped up in pestering Hermione for information about herself that they completely forgot the parasite of a boy was nowhere in site. "I don't know," said Remus. "Perhaps he's found a new group to latch on to."

"Remus, be nice," warned Lily.

"It's true," said Sirius, in Remus's defense. "The prat is always lurking about, following us around like a lost puppy. It's pathetic. Can't ever get a moment of privacy."

"Isn't _that_ the truth," said Remus. He chuckled, and shook his head. "HE once followed me to the shower, trying to finish a conversation we'd had earlier that afternoon."

Hermione laughed. "That's absurd!" she said. Remus met her gaze and nodded in agreement.

"That it is."

Lily stood from the table, and brushed her long, bright red hair over her shoulder. "Alright, enough bad-mouthing Peter. Let's go show Hermione around. Come on, Hermione. The boys will catch up." She and Hermione left the Great Hall, and once they were out of sight, Sirius leaned forward.

"I don't get it," he said, shaking his head. "No one has ever been immune to my charm before!"

"Guess she's just different, mate," said Remus, smirking.

"No, no, no, you don't get it. I've always gotten the girl. _Always_. I was once _this close_ to seducing a professor."

"We remember," said James and Remus in unison. Sirius seemed unfazed.

"But out of the goodness of my heart," he said dramatically, clamping his hand over his chest, "I didn't want to break up her morals, so I didn't."

"We remember."

"I just don't understand why Hermione doesn't seem interested."

"Hermione seems different, mate. She doesn't know you, and she doesn't really come across as the type of girl to throw herself at someone, no matter how _charming_ they are," said Remus.

James groaned. "Get over it, Sirius," he said, standing from the table. "There's hundreds of other girls in this school."

Sirius grumbled as he and Remus stepped away from the table. "Easy for you to say, Prongs, you _have_ a girlfriend. Besides," he added, "I've had all the other ones."

Remus and James laughed as the three left the Great Hall to join the girls.

"Well, it's about time you three showed up," said Lily, her hands poised on her hips as James snuck up behind her, kissing her cheek softly. "I was starting to think I'd be giving Hermione the tour myself."

James and Remus laughed, while Sirius stared at Hermione, perplexed. She looked at him, her brow furrowed. "Is something wrong?" she asked, wondering if, perhaps, she would regret asking.

"Why doesn't it work?" he blurted out. Lily, Remus and James stared at him, both shocked and amused by his statement. Lily looked to James in confusion, but he motioned that he would explain it later, if Sirius didn't explain it himself as he poured his heart out to Hermione.

Hermione was taken aback. She looked to Remus, who along with James, was merely chuckling. "Excuse me?" asked Hermione.

"My charm, love, my charm. It works on everyone else." HE stepped closer to her, smirking. "Don't fight it, love. I know you want it, too."

Lily, James and Remus tried to conceal their snickering at Sirius's desperate attempt to win Hermione over. They'd never seen him so desperate. Then again, they'd never seen a girl reject him before. It was actually incredibly humorous.

Hermione stepped back. "Listen, Sirius, I'm sure you're a very nice person," she said, her mind working in overdrive to cover up her knowledge of him in the future. "But, I just don't know you that well." _And, you're my best friend's godfather!_ "I'm sorry. I'd really rather not…"

"I understand," Sirius grumbled. Lily stepped forward, wrapping her arm around Hermione, pulling her away from Sirius.

"Come on," she said. "Let's get started with that tour, yeah?"

"Thank you," Hermione whispered.

James laughed, nudging Sirius in the side. "Nice, Padfoot. Very smooth. I definitely think she saw you're A-game there."

"Shut it, James," he snapped, glaring at James. "I'm not in the mood for a tour anymore," he grumbled. He pushed past James and Remus, and hurried up the staircase, ignoring the chuckles from his friends.

"What's his problem?" asked Lily as James and Remus caught up with them.

"Oh, you know Sirius. He doesn't handle rejection well," said Remus, smiling down at Hermione.

James scoffed. "Sirius doesn't know _how_ to handle it. He's never been rejected before. Apparently, he's a bit of a pansy about it."

Hermione laughed. "I didn't mean to hurt his feelings."

"Don't worry, love," said Remus, "he'll be over it and on to someone else before you know it." He looked down at Hermione and grinned as, once again, his gaze met hers. Lily and James looked over at them and exchanged glances before Lily cleared her throat, pulling both Hermione and Remus out of their reveries.

Hermione shook her head, trying to push her thoughts from her mind. What was going on? She was making eyes with her professor! Somehow, that just seemed wrong. No, she didn't have feelings for him, but there was just something about him that kept drawing in her attention. He _was_ incredibly attractive: tall, not terribly muscular, but built none the less; a strong jaw, covered in light stubble; soft, kind blue eyes, and sandy blonde hair that was a bit too long, but sexy anyway. _Whoa. Wait a minute…sexy? When did **that** happen?_

"Hermione? Hermione."

Hermione shook her head once more, returning to reality. "Huh?"

Lily, James and Remus were all staring at her as they stood in front of a classroom door. "Did you hear what I said?" asked Lily, a look of concern written in her features.

Hermione felt a rosy blush wash over her cheeks. "No, sorry," she said.

Lily smiled. "It's okay." She gestured toward the classroom. "Transfigurations. Professor McGonagall teaches it. She's strict, but a good teacher none the less." Hermione nodded. "I'm sure you had Transfiguration at your other school, right?"

"Yeah," said Hermione. "I'm sure it's _exactly_ like here, too." She groaned inwardly. Covering up her past was going to be difficult. She could only hope she got back to the future soon. She wasn't sure how much she could take.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the series of Harry Potter. If I did, Sirius Black would still be alive. It belongs to one of my idols, J.K. Rowling, so please, don't sue me. If you did, the most you'd get from me is an endless collection of DVDs and a few quarters. Sorry.**_

_**...  
**_

_A/N: Sorry for the delay in updates. I've been ridiculously busy, and ridiculously tired Band camp is under way (that's right, Britty's a band geek…the cool kind, though, 'cause I'm a drummer), and school starts in two weeks. I'm not clear, right now, how much time will lapse between updates, but I'm trying as best I can. I promise! Now… on to Chapter four! _

_  
Love_

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**Chapter Four**

**The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows**

The rest of Hermione's first day in the past played out similarly to her morning. More questions from Lily, James and Remus, and dodging glances between Remus and Herself. She couldn't get over the nagging feeling of how wrong it was. And, how wrong it was that _she_ was here and not Harry. Harry should have been the one to go back in time, and meet his parents. Harry should have been the one to hang out with them, and talk to them, and joke and laugh with them. Harry should have been the one sitting on the sofa in the common room with them, chatting about absolutely nothing. It just didn't seem quite fair to her.

"Hermione, are you alright?" asked Lily as the red head glanced over at her from her position, sitting on James's lap, her legs dangling freely over the arm of the cushiony chair. Her brow was furrowed, marring the soft, natural beauty of her face.

Hermione looked up at Lily and nodded, smiling reassuringly. "Yeah," she said, waving the question off with her hand. She was beginning to hate questions like that; she couldn't tell the truth. And if there was one thing Hermione absolutely hated to do, it was lie. She was quite certain she wasn't even that good at it, but it was necessary to ensure that her future stayed intact. "I'm fine, really," she said, staring into the fireplace, her expression melancholy. "I just miss home, I suppose… my friends." It was the honest truth. Though she'd only been gone a day, and hadn't actually gone anywhere, she was so far away from Harry and Ron. She missed them.

"Aw," cooed Lily. "Well, we've got a few months before summer holiday, and you'll see them again. I'm sure it's difficult changing schools in the middle of the year… especially in your seventh year. I couldn't imagine," she said, shaking her head. She looked over at Hermione, and tilted her head. "What school did you go to before?" she questioned curiously. "You never did say."

_I hadn't thought that one through_, thought Hermione, mortified at being put on the spot, though she knew Lily didn't believe she was putting Hermione on the spot. Most people, Lily would figure, would know where they'd gone to school at. "Uh, just a small school in America," said Hermione, hoping she was convincing.

Remus, James and Lily all looked at her, eyebrows raised. "Really?" said Remus. "Forgive me if this sounds stupid, but your accent doesn't give you away as an American," he said. Lily and James nodded in agreement. "You're not originally _from_ America, I take it?"

Hermione smiled. "Oh, no, I'm not," she said, shaking her head. "I was born in London, and both my parents are British. I moved to America when I was ten, and began attending a wizarding school there."

"Oh, fascinating. What's the name of the school?" questioned Lily. "I've only heard of a couple of American schools. I'd be fascinated to know about one of them."

Once again, Hermione was mortified, but she tried her best not to let it show. She couldn't let it show. She told herself over and over again to think hard. She was practically a genius, this shouldn't be that difficult. "The…American Institute for…Magic," she said slowly, hoping, once again to sound convincing.

Lily nodded. "Oh, that sounds lovely," she said, smiling. "So, what brought you back to England, if I may be so bold?"

"Um, well, my parents are both Muggle dentists, and they relocated, and brought be back with them, because they didn't want to leave me on a whole other continent," she said, chuckling. "So, here I am."

Remus smiled. "Well, I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say we're glad to have you. Especially since you managed to put Sirius in his place. And that, my dear, takes skill."

James clapped. "I applaud you, Miss Granger. You're the first to ever be able to do that, besides Dumbledore, that is. And Dumbledore can make anyone shake in their boots. Even Sirius. But you, a seemingly ordinary girl, put the great and powerful Sirius Black in his place. And to you, I tip my hat."

Hermione smirked, shrugging her shoulders. "Just call me Super Girl."

Lily smiled while Remus and James stared at her in confusion. "Huh?" they asked in unison. Hermione had not forgotten neither that were Muggle-born, and probably had no idea what on earth she was talking about. She knew, however, that Lily was, in fact, a Muggle-born and knew exactly what she was talking about. Super-heroes.

Hermione laughed. "Never mind," she said, waving her hand. "It's not important." She was about to say something else when the portrait hole swung open, and a short, chubby blonde boy came scurrying into the common room, unaware of the others in his presence.

"Ah, Peter, there you are!" James exclaimed as he looked over his shoulder to see what the commotion was. Peter stopped mid-step, and looked over at the group, realizing for the first time that there were others in the common room. Hermione watched him as his small, round eyes darted between the four of them, unsure of the situation.

"H-hello," he squeaked out nervously.

Lily was the first to speak up. "Peter, I'd like you to meet our new friend. This is Hermione Granger," she said, gesturing gracefully toward Hermione. "She's a seventh-year transfer from an American school." She paused, looking to Hermione. "Hermione, this is Peter Pettigrew."

Peter nodded, and smiled nervously. "Hi," he said with a small wave to Hermione. He looked her over, as if deciding whether or not he could trust her. Hermione wanted to scoff. _As if **I'm** the one that can't be trusted,_ she wanted to blurt out. Grudgingly, however, she held her tongue. Instead, she settled for a simple, "Hi."

Peter stood awkwardly for a moment as they all looked around at each other, none of them saying a word. Finally, Peter spoke. "Well, I'm going to bed," he mumbled. "Goodnight!" He turned, and hurried up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

Once Peter had disappeared into the dormitory, Remus chuckled and looked at Hermione. "Did we happen to mention that Peter is a very… odd individual?" he said.

Hermione smiled at him. "You may have let on to that once or twice. And now I have proof," she said, gesturing toward the stairs. _Yes, he's odd alright. Not to mention an evil, back-stabbing, two-faced…_ Silently, she composed herself, cutting her thought off mid-sentence as a nasty word to describe him sprung to mind. She was better than that. She would control herself, and keep her hatred for the rat-boy at bay. As best she could, anyway. "Anyway, Peter actually had a good idea. I think I'll head to bed, myself," she said, standing from the couch, stretching her arms over her head. As she did, her t-shirt slid up her stomach just a tiny bit, revealing the soft skin just below her belly button.

Remus couldn't help to stare. He swallowed, and forced his gaze back to her face and smiled. "Goodnight," he said.

Hermione smiled and gave a small wave to him, and Lily and James in turn. "Goodnight," she said. "I suppose I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, we'll see you in the morning," said Remus.

Hermione turned, making her way up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, while James and Lily smirked at Remus. James was the first to speak. "Oy, Remus, do you have the hots for the new girl?" he asked bluntly. Lily smacked his chest. "Ow, that hurt, Lily! What the bloody hell was that for, anyhow?"

"Could you be a little nicer about it? Perhaps not so blunt? You shouldn't walk around blurting things out like that. It'll get you in trouble, James."

"I wasn't walking, I was sitting."

That earned him another smack. "Ow!"

Remus cleared his throat. "Excuse me, you two, but let me clear something up for you. I do not have 'the hots' for Hermione. I think she's interesting, and nice, and yes… sort of pretty, but no, I do not have 'the hots' for her," he said. However, he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince. Himself or them. There was something about her that just drew him to her, like a moth to a flame. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but there was just something about her.

At the same time, however, it felt wrong. He couldn't let himself get close to anyone, or hell… even fall in love. He was a werewolf. It was too dangerous. Surely they, Hermione included, could find someone far better suited for them than a mangy old werewolf. He just couldn't let it happen. He cleared his throat. "Besides," he continued, "you know I can't really be with anyone." He looked down at his hands.

"_Remus_," said Lily, appalled by Remus's thoughts. "You can't honestly think that! You are just as eligible as any other boy in this school, or the world. Just because of your condition, it does not mean you can close yourself off, and push people away. You should be ashamed for even thinking in such a way."

"Lily, I-"

"No! There is no question about it, Remus! You are a _human being_," she said. She slid off of James's lap, and crossed the small sitting area to sit beside Remus on the sofa. She laid a friendly hand on his shoulder, looking him in the eye. "You should allow yourself to experience love and pleasure, Remus. You _need _to. It's not fair to yourself to believe yourself such a monster that you can never be with someone because you're afraid. Three times a month, you change, and that's it. You take all the necessary precautions one could possibly think of. You seclude yourself, so that you don't harm anyone. What makes you think you can't be with someone?"

"They deserve better than me."

"Oy, Moony, listen to me," said James, stepping into the situation. He couldn't sit back, and passively watch one of his best friends beat himself up like he was. It wasn't right, and James knew it. He stood from the chair, and took a seat on the arm of the sofa, next to Remus. "Lily's right, mate. You're the kindest person I know. Any girl would be lucky to have you. Sometimes I wonder what the hell she's doing with me, when the greatest bloke anyone could meet is just a few feet from me," he said, smirking. He laid his hand on Remus's shoulder. "Just go for it, mate."

Remus looked up at James, and back at Lily, unsure of what to say. He couldn't admit that they were right, because he would be lying; a small part of him still believed that it wouldn't be right for him to subject anyone to the horrors of what he was. But yet, another part of him wanted desperately to believe every word they were saying. He wanted the happiness that Lily and James had. He wanted to experience that with someone.

What frightened him most of all, however, was that as he was picturing those happy moments he could have; the love he could feel… he was picturing Hermione.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I do not own the series of Harry Potter. If I did, Sirius Black would still be alive. It belongs to one of my idols, J.K. Rowling, so please, don't sue me. If you did, the most you'd get from me is an endless collection of DVDs and a few quarters. Sorry. _

_**A/N: This chapter isn't long, I know. It's just a quick, cute little filler with a lot of thinking and a conversation between Hermione and Lily, and Hermione and Remus. Things will pick up soon, I promise. Just be patient and bear with me. The shippy goodness will come. I swear. Now read on, my little cherubs, read on.**_

**Chapter Five**

**Things I'll Never Say**

Hermione lay on her stomach on her comfortable four-post bed, staring at a half-written on sheet of parchment; her quill poised, motionless, above the page. She was at a loss as to what to write. Her thoughts were working in overtime, but that was the problem. There were too many, and moving too fast to write them down. "Just stop it, Hermione," she whispered to herself, shaking her head. "You're going mad."

After she'd left the James, Lily, and Remus in the common room, she couldn't fall asleep. She'd taken a quick shower and returned to the bedroom, dressed for bed. She'd crawled in, slipped under the covers, and laid there for what seemed like an eternity. In actuality, however, it was less than ten minutes. Finally, she'd become frustrated and illuminated the room, taking a fresh sheet of parchment from the pile she was using to record her time in the past, and began writing.

_**February 7, 1978**_

_**Today was interesting. I had breakfast with Lily, James, Remus and Sirius, with Sirius hitting on me all the while. It was strange having Harry's godfather making advances toward me. Somehow, it was just wrong. Finally, I expressed to him that his tries were going nowhere, so he hurried off, sulking. According to the rest of the group, I am the first person to ever reject him, and in the words of James, "Apparently, he's a bit of a pansy about it."**_

_**After breakfast, Lily, James and Remus took me on the tour of the castle, which I obviously know very well. It's difficult to have to pretend to not know anything. It's difficult to be experiencing this, when it should be Harry getting to know his parents. **_

_**And then… there's Remus. Professor Lupin. I know it's wrong, but seeing him now, he's so different. He's happy, and vibrant. He's even more handsome than his future self, which I'm chiding myself for even thinking. And the way he looks at me…**_

And that's where her quill had stopped. Mysteriously, the ink had dried up, preventing her from writing more. She didn't know what to say. _The way he looks at me…_ How did he look at her? She wasn't quite sure, but there was something behind it… something that she felt, too, and that scared her. She couldn't let it go anywhere. He was her _professor_. That was morally and socially wrong.

But she was twenty years in the past. Twenty years before he was her professor. That tends to throw a wrench in the workings of rules. But still… she couldn't. She was going home sooner or later, and she didn't want to have that on her shoulders. She _couldn't_.

"Hermione?"

The sound of her name pulled her from her thoughts. She tucked the parchment into the tattered book in which she kept the make-shift journal, and sat up, turning toward the voice, finding it to belong to none other than Lily. Hermione smiled. "Hey, Lily," she said.

Lily moved further into the room, taking a seat on the end of Hermione's bed; one leg tucked underneath her. "Hey," she said finally. "Is everything alright? You hurried out of the common room awfully quick. I hope we didn't bother you with all of our questions.

Hermione shook her head, smiling. "Oh, no," she said. "I was just tired. And after I showered and went to bed, I couldn't fall asleep, so I decided to spend a bit of time and write in my journal."

Lily nodded. "Okay, good. As long as we didn't scare you off. That makes me feel better." She looked at Hermione, smiling. She wanted so badly to just encourage Hermione to pursue things with Remus. She could see the chemistry between them; it was obvious, but it wasn't her place. It was between Hermione and Remus, should they ever actually confront their feelings. She knew that, true, they'd only known each other for a day and a half, but you can't deny chemistry like that. You never can. "Are you enjoying Hogwarts so far?"

Nodding, Hermione smiled. "Yes, thank you," she said. "I love it here. It's a lot like my old school," she said, her smile fading. Her old school, twenty years in the future, where Harry and Ron were… where Crookshanks, her fuzzy orange cat with a squished face, was. Where everything was. Here, what did she have? Harry's parents, godfather, and their professor whom she may or may not have a thing for?

Lily smiled. "Well, that's great. I want you to be comfortable here. And if you ever need anything, just ask. Any of us. We'll be happy to help you, and I'll be there for you," she said.

Hermione smiled, appreciative of Lily's offer, though her heart still ached for Harry and Ron. "Thank you, Lily. That means a lot to me," she said, thinking it better to graciously accept than to spill her heart about her homesickness and her friends. She didn't really feel like having to cover for herself just now.

Lily patted Hermione's knee as she slid off the bed. "It's no problem," she said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to shower and go to bed. I'm quite tired."

"Of course not, go right ahead," said Hermione, waving her hand. "Goodnight, Lily. And thanks again for everything. I really do appreciate it."

"You're quite welcome, Hermione. Goodnight!" she called as she headed toward the bathroom.

Hermione sighed, falling back onto the bed. She was tired, but thoughts were keeping her awake. She dimmed the lights and crawled beneath the covers, determined to fall asleep. But for some reason, her thoughts kept drifting to him. To Remus.

The next morning, Hermione opened her eyes, but made no attempt to move. She knew it was early, and no one else was up, but she also knew there was no way she could fall back asleep. Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself out of bed, and glanced at the clock.

**6:03**

She was right. It _was_ early. Shuffling into the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and smoothed down her curls. Careful not to wake the other girls in the dormitory, she grabbed her bathrobe and a book and made her way down to the common room, but stopped dead; her heart beating wildly as she approached the sofa. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed in a loud whisper, her hand pressed to her chest.

There, on the sofa, sat Remus, his legs propped up on the coffee table, a book in his hand. He looked up at Hermione and smiled softly. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"You scared the living daylights out of me!" she laughed, sitting next to him. She covered her face with her hands and shook her head. Finally, she pushed her curls out of her face and looked up at him. "I didn't expect anyone to be down here so early."

Remus closed his book and chuckled, looking over at her. "I don't sleep in very often," he said. "So, when I wake up early like this, I come down to the common room to read so I don't wake any of my room mates. Plus, it gives me a few hours of quiet time before I am surrounded by constant noise from my friends."

"I'm sorry," she said, rising from the sofa. "I'll leave you to your quiet time, then. I really didn't mean to disturb you. Like I said, I had no idea anyone would be down here."

Remus quickly took her arm, pulling her gently back to the sofa. "Don't be silly. I'd love for you to stay, Hermione," he said, shifting into a more comfortable position to converse with someone. "Noise from those idiots is one thing. Talking to you is an entirely different thing. Please, stay."

Hermione nodded. "O-okay," she said, meeting his eyes. She swallowed, and laid her book in her lap. "I do that, too," she said. "I sneak into the common room, early in the morning to read before my friends wake up." She chuckled. "My two best friends are both boys, so, I'm surrounded by noise all day long, too."

Remus smiled. "So, were your dormitories and such set up like this at your old school?" he questioned. There were so many things he wanted to learn about her; to know, but he decided to take things slow. He just couldn't get the conversation with Lily and James out of his head; their encouragement. He wanted to pursue it, but he was terrified. So, he figured taking it slow, and easing into things might make it less difficult. He hoped.

Hermione nodded. _Great, more questions about my 'old school'. How much longer must I do this? _She longed for the day when she wouldn't have to pretend anymore; when she could just go home. But then, another thought hit her like an oncoming vehicle. She'd have to leave the comfort of Remus. Young Remus. The happy, young Remus whom she was desperately attracted to. _Oh, lord, I can't be thinking this. Stop. He's just a friend. _"Y-yes, actually, they were," she said. "Almost exactly like this. Except… our houses were… animals. Yes, animals; an eagle… a tiger… a, uh, a wolf… and a snake."

Remus nodded silently for a moment. "That sounds cool," he said. "And how old was your school?"

"Turn of the century," she said. "The-the nineteenth century, that is. 1800." For some reason, she was horrible at coming up with these lies around him. He made her nervous, and she lost her capacity to function like a human being. No one had ever done that to her before.

Remus chuckled and nodded. "I see," he said.

"Yeah…" Hermione trailed off and looked around the common room. It hadn't changed. In twenty years, the room had not changed a bit. The people had come and gone, but everything else was the same. The furniture, the position of the furniture, the wall decorations… all of it; it was all the same.

"What are you looking at?"

_Good lord, he's inquisitive. Stop making it so hard for me!_ She looked back at him and smiled, shrugging her shoulders. "I haven't had much time to stop and appreciate any of this, really," she said. "This place is beautiful. I love the colors."

Remus nodded, looking around. "Yes, it is beautiful, if you have a chance to stop and really see it," he said, looking back at her. He smiled, and she had a feeling that he wasn't just talking about the room, which made her blush, though she willed herself not to. It didn't quite work. "Very beautiful indeed."

Hermione cleared her throat nervously, and glanced at the clock. She couldn't handle this. Not now. Not ever, she figured. She had to stop this… this attraction between them. He was her bloody _professor_. "I, uh, I think I'm going to go get dressed," she said, standing from the couch. She grabbed her book, and brushed past Remus. "I'll see you at breakfast!" And with that, she hurried back up the stairs to the safety of her dormitory.

Remus stood as she pushed past him, and watched as she rushed up the stairs before sinking back down onto the sofa, staring at the coffee table. Had he done something wrong? He wondered. He shook his head and sighed, flipping his book open once again. "Odd girl," he muttered to himself.


End file.
